...Not for the faint of heart...

OK, before you read, just understand that I was serious - this entry is not for the faint of heart. If you don't like nursing/hospital stories, you might not want to read this. I'm not writing to be gross, but because I want to remember this day... ...maybe when it happens again I'll be more prepared. This was the day that I broke my first rib - and no, I don't mean my own. I was doing CPR. CPR is MUCH different in the hospital than what they show in the movies. There are many more people involved and it is MUCH more agressive. My patient coded very enexpectedly as I was walking out the door to leave work today, but I stayed since I was the one that new her history and I new questions might need to be answered emergently that the Doctors wouldn't have time to look up. Long story short, we (about 15 people) worked on her for about 40 minutes total. I swapped out with one of the other nurses near the end to do chest-compressions since I knew she must be really tired. ( you can't believe how tiring it is till you try it!) I was only working for a couple minutes when I felt her rib snap. I can't explain that feeling. I know I work around this stuff every day, but there are still some things that you just don't know how you will handle them until it happens. I thought I was going to be sick and I got sooooo hot and flushed - thought about passing out, but knew that was a silly thought and I didn't have time for it. The other nurses, etc., were very supportive knowing that it was a first for me, and I just kept working. I can't even begin to mention the number of times in the last 4 1/2 years that I've had to grit my teath and show no expression of disgust, shock or horror until I was away from any patient that would see my reaction. It can be so hard sometimes to act like everything is under control and you are perfectly comfortable in every situation - when on the inside you are screaming and beginning to panack. But it is also pretty amaizing how well you can learn to think first, respond and then react after everything has long been taken care of. This was a pretty gross experience for me and hard to deal with. Sadly the patient didn't make it. So I've just been talking about it all day to anyone that would listen. This has been one more experience that I've been through and learned from...